There are times that try a person's soul. There are moments when your faith is tested. Faith in God... faith in yourself... faith in humanity. They are moments affixed in time that continue to appear in your minds eye for the rest of your life.
Sometimes you learn from them. Ever and again finding something out about yourself that you'd rather not bring out into the light. Occasionally though you rediscover something about yourself that's good, something you might have forgotten.
These events don't have to be major developments in your life. For me they've been little more than snapshots. Often poignant albeit brief.
One such occurrence haunts me to this day. It was at the same time uplifting, awkward, sad, and telling. Ultimately, I still haven't found a place for it in my consciousness. What I take away from it is not easily said... or written about. I'll let the reader of this blog be the judge.
It was not so long ago at all. I was freshly separated from my ex, and as I recall it was the second time I was without my boys for the night. Feeling lonely... I didn't much feel like cooking, and of course all the cliches about "keeping busy" to take my mind off my solitude kept parading through my mind.
I did have a craving for a burger... a good burger. So I decided to take the "keep busy" advise and get out and get a burger from a nearby local favorite establishment of mine. I decided to call ahead and pick-up the food, as I really wasn't ready to be out in that setting for too long. But the idea of just feeling the fresh air of the night did appeal to me.
When I arrived I was promptly told my food was not ready yet. It was the only thing that's EVER happened "promptly" at this restaurant. Famous for good food... and bad service.
So I stood leaning against a wall in front of the bar. As the moments went on and the bar became more and more crowded my anxiety grew. I really didn't want to see anyone I knew. I just wanted to pick up my burger and go. It was a big step for me just to be there... I got out, got my fresh air, and really just wanted to be home again.
My apprehension was at it's peak when just then I noticed a little girl standing behind her mothers leg. She was all of 5 years old and adorable! Big eye's, curly hair, and all dressed up as if she just left some formal function.
She looked so small in the crowd of adults, and she was bored. Her mother stood talking to her friends facing the bar with her back to me.
Then suddenly she beamed with the prettiest smile in my direction...then quickly hid behind her mother's leg.
She slowly poked her head out just enough to check and see if I smiled back. When she saw I did, she made a "funny face" at me... then quickly hid again behind her mother's leg before sneaking out once more to see my response.
We happily repeated our little peek-a-boo game many times, coming up with as many "funny faces" as we could think of. You'd think I might have been saddened by the fact that I was interacting with this unknown little girl instead of my own boys whom I missed so much, but I wasn't sad at all. Instead I was happy to do it! It helped me fill the void of not having my sons there to do it with.
Suddenly all the apprehension within was lifted from me. This night was at a time in my life where I lost myself a bit. A time where I questioned everything I thought I knew about myself. A time of little confidence and faith in the world around me. But I was so honored that this anonymous little girl picked me to bat eye's with. That she found my visage... my mug, to be the friendliest face in the place.
Through the eye's of a child so much faith was restored in me.
Then suddenly her mother turned around, saw me... looked me dead in the eye's with disapproval written on her face. She reached around to clutch her little girl and quickly pull her around to her front where she could no longer see me.
The irony was not lost on me. The bitter irony that I was now so isolated. In my "other" life, my past life, the life I had just hours before... I was a parent just like her. I NEVER would have gotten that look of disapproval. She never would have shielded her daughter from me.
I just wanted to implore upon the mother that I'm not one of "them" (whoever "them" is). That I'm one of the good guys. I wanted to plead to her that I too have children... two amazing boys. One, as a matter of fact roughly the same age as her daughter. Who knows, maybe they even know each other!
I wanted to have that great conversation all us parents know. The one where we compliment each other on our kids and take so much genuine pride in doing so. I wanted to be a member of that club again. But it was not to be. On this night I was single. A single guy waiting for his food. I was an outsider. And it was cold outside.
Just then I snapped out of it as the bartender called to me that my food was ready. I made it untouched by the crowd to the bar to pay my bill. I was careful not to look in that little girls direction. But as I reached down for my wallet I noticed a piece of chrome trim on the bar that was perfectly placed to reflect that little girls face as she stuck her tongue out at me one more time. Already, even at that early age... she had to get the last word in.
It wasn't so cold outside anymore as I got home.
It was a good burger.
... and that's the view from here.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Do Times Change Or Only People?
"If you're not liberal when you're young, you have no heart. If you're not conservative when you're older, you have no brain."
The quote above is widely attributed to Winston Churchill, whether he said it or not has been debated. But regardless of who uttered those words, it does present a thought provoking premise.
When I was a boy I certainly saw the world differently than it really was. I remember watching Gilligan's Island and laughing out loud at it. I remember totally buying into the basis of the show and never beginning to question how absurd it really was. I also recall the crush I had on Mary Ann. Gosh, she was awesome! Pretty, athletic, smart (in a Gilligan's Island kind of way!). and always smiling. I remember thinking, "What do all the grown-up guys see in Ginger anyway? Mary Ann is WAY better!"
When it came time for me to register with a political party... I had no idea what to do! I really had no clue what either party stood for. Instead, it was my parents who dictated that I register with the Democratic Party. They were both Democrats, and "The Machine" in Albany was all Democratic.
It was the machine of O'Connell and Corning. A place where if you wanted a job, a favor, or someone to neatly pick up your garbage... you had better be a Democrat. I don't really remember it as a vast liberal bastion. I don't recall it as being particularly dedicated to social rights or having any resemblance to the national Democratic party at all. I just remember it as a machine that simply perpetuated itself. A machine that is in fact still intact today.
It will probably come as a shock to many of my friends that I'm a registered Democrat. But as I grew and started to explore my feelings on national issues, and my beliefs on the prevailing social issues of the day, I became aware of the platforms of both major political parties and became proud of my party affiliation.
The Democratic party stood for social rights... so did I! Equal opportunity... so did I! As a Jew, how could I NOT stand for these issues?
They were the party of Pro-Choice, and stood against the Death Penalty. Me too! They were proponents of gun control, as am I!
(On a personal note... I would NEVER counsel ANYONE to get an abortion. I would ALWAYS do everything I could to encourage giving birth... BUT who am I to tell a woman what to do? I'm glad it's legal and performed by doctors in sterile surroundings. We should NEVER return to the "back-ally" abortions of the past. And as far as the death penalty goes... God forgive me what I might do if someone harmed a loved one... I just don't think it's the governments role to lower itself to the standards of killing someone. If just one innocent person is put to death, it's a shame on all of us. Put them away forever...throw away the key. But don't let the government become assassins of the falsley accused.)
The Democrats were the party of Roosevelt and Kennedy. Nixon represented the Republicans during the days of my youth. How I distinctly remember coming home from school and my father having the Watergate hearings on the t.v. That was my reference point for scandal in American politics... a Republican scandal.
A turning point for me was finding out that Ronald Reagan was once a Democrat. That's right, the beacon for the modern Conservative movement was once a Democrat! That was unbelievable to me. And what's more, I liked Reagan. He was a great communicator. He stood for something. Strength, independence, freedom. He attacked the problems of the day during his presidency with the very values and belief system he proclaimed.
And it worked.
He watched as the Soviet Union crumbled through his strong foreign policy decisions. He watched the horrible economy he inherited from the inept Democrat Jimmy Carter turn around though tax cuts, and spending reductions. He knew in his heart that freedom would prevail overseas and that smaller government was the answer domestically.
He just knew.
But how did he know? Where did he get his ideas from?
In today's world the Democratic party for which I was once so proud to be a member of stands for reinventing contract law, rewarding laziness, "talking" to governments that suppress it's people, sitting down with terrorists, income redistribution, higher taxes, and bigger government.
They talk in awful double speak, promising to lower the taxes of 95% of Americans... while they raise sin taxes and energy taxes. Those two regressive taxes that hurt the poor the most.
There's a great debate going on today as to which method will get us out of the recession we're in. The Obama way of raising taxes, creating a "nanny society", and enlarging government, or the Reagan way of cutting taxes, cutting spending, and reducing the size of government.
I hear the television talking heads calling it the "Obama way" and the "Reagan way" all the time!
But the fact is that the "Reagan way" isn't the "Reagan way" at all. It's the KENNEDY way!
Inheriting a bad economy in 1961 when he ascended to the Presidency, President John F. Kennedy proposed a series of tax rate reductions.
The Kennedy tax cuts helped trigger a record economic expansion. Between 1961 and 1968, the inflation-adjusted economy expanded by more than 42 percent. On a yearly basis, economic growth averaged more than 5 percent.
It's not a huge leap of faith to feel that Ronald Reagan based his economic plan around the Kennedy plan. History has shown that this worked for both of them. So my question in the heading of this blog comes into place here... Did Reagan change or did his party?
I submit that Reagan did not change. He stayed true to his beliefs. It was his party that changed around him. He had no choice but to change his affiliation to stay true to himself. Further, I think that if Kennedy were alive today, he wouldn't recognize his party. He too would probably jump ship to the Republicans.
President Obama has so much in common with President Kennedy. He has often told of the inspiration he feels from Kennedy. Unfortunately, his presidency resembles the Carter Administration a whole lot more than anything that imagines Camelot.
As for me, I'm still Pro-Choice. Still anti-Death Penalty... but beyond that have NOTHING in common with my party. Not on domestic policy and CERTAINLY not on foreign policy (DON'T get me started on that!) I won't switch though... it would make my parents mad at me. (Why do I still care about that at 44 years old!?!?!?)
... and oh-boy, do I EVER get the Ginger thing now! Gosh, do I!
...and that's the view from here.
The quote above is widely attributed to Winston Churchill, whether he said it or not has been debated. But regardless of who uttered those words, it does present a thought provoking premise.
When I was a boy I certainly saw the world differently than it really was. I remember watching Gilligan's Island and laughing out loud at it. I remember totally buying into the basis of the show and never beginning to question how absurd it really was. I also recall the crush I had on Mary Ann. Gosh, she was awesome! Pretty, athletic, smart (in a Gilligan's Island kind of way!). and always smiling. I remember thinking, "What do all the grown-up guys see in Ginger anyway? Mary Ann is WAY better!"
When it came time for me to register with a political party... I had no idea what to do! I really had no clue what either party stood for. Instead, it was my parents who dictated that I register with the Democratic Party. They were both Democrats, and "The Machine" in Albany was all Democratic.
It was the machine of O'Connell and Corning. A place where if you wanted a job, a favor, or someone to neatly pick up your garbage... you had better be a Democrat. I don't really remember it as a vast liberal bastion. I don't recall it as being particularly dedicated to social rights or having any resemblance to the national Democratic party at all. I just remember it as a machine that simply perpetuated itself. A machine that is in fact still intact today.
It will probably come as a shock to many of my friends that I'm a registered Democrat. But as I grew and started to explore my feelings on national issues, and my beliefs on the prevailing social issues of the day, I became aware of the platforms of both major political parties and became proud of my party affiliation.
The Democratic party stood for social rights... so did I! Equal opportunity... so did I! As a Jew, how could I NOT stand for these issues?
They were the party of Pro-Choice, and stood against the Death Penalty. Me too! They were proponents of gun control, as am I!
(On a personal note... I would NEVER counsel ANYONE to get an abortion. I would ALWAYS do everything I could to encourage giving birth... BUT who am I to tell a woman what to do? I'm glad it's legal and performed by doctors in sterile surroundings. We should NEVER return to the "back-ally" abortions of the past. And as far as the death penalty goes... God forgive me what I might do if someone harmed a loved one... I just don't think it's the governments role to lower itself to the standards of killing someone. If just one innocent person is put to death, it's a shame on all of us. Put them away forever...throw away the key. But don't let the government become assassins of the falsley accused.)
The Democrats were the party of Roosevelt and Kennedy. Nixon represented the Republicans during the days of my youth. How I distinctly remember coming home from school and my father having the Watergate hearings on the t.v. That was my reference point for scandal in American politics... a Republican scandal.
A turning point for me was finding out that Ronald Reagan was once a Democrat. That's right, the beacon for the modern Conservative movement was once a Democrat! That was unbelievable to me. And what's more, I liked Reagan. He was a great communicator. He stood for something. Strength, independence, freedom. He attacked the problems of the day during his presidency with the very values and belief system he proclaimed.
And it worked.
He watched as the Soviet Union crumbled through his strong foreign policy decisions. He watched the horrible economy he inherited from the inept Democrat Jimmy Carter turn around though tax cuts, and spending reductions. He knew in his heart that freedom would prevail overseas and that smaller government was the answer domestically.
He just knew.
But how did he know? Where did he get his ideas from?
In today's world the Democratic party for which I was once so proud to be a member of stands for reinventing contract law, rewarding laziness, "talking" to governments that suppress it's people, sitting down with terrorists, income redistribution, higher taxes, and bigger government.
They talk in awful double speak, promising to lower the taxes of 95% of Americans... while they raise sin taxes and energy taxes. Those two regressive taxes that hurt the poor the most.
There's a great debate going on today as to which method will get us out of the recession we're in. The Obama way of raising taxes, creating a "nanny society", and enlarging government, or the Reagan way of cutting taxes, cutting spending, and reducing the size of government.
I hear the television talking heads calling it the "Obama way" and the "Reagan way" all the time!
But the fact is that the "Reagan way" isn't the "Reagan way" at all. It's the KENNEDY way!
Inheriting a bad economy in 1961 when he ascended to the Presidency, President John F. Kennedy proposed a series of tax rate reductions.
The Kennedy tax cuts helped trigger a record economic expansion. Between 1961 and 1968, the inflation-adjusted economy expanded by more than 42 percent. On a yearly basis, economic growth averaged more than 5 percent.
It's not a huge leap of faith to feel that Ronald Reagan based his economic plan around the Kennedy plan. History has shown that this worked for both of them. So my question in the heading of this blog comes into place here... Did Reagan change or did his party?
I submit that Reagan did not change. He stayed true to his beliefs. It was his party that changed around him. He had no choice but to change his affiliation to stay true to himself. Further, I think that if Kennedy were alive today, he wouldn't recognize his party. He too would probably jump ship to the Republicans.
President Obama has so much in common with President Kennedy. He has often told of the inspiration he feels from Kennedy. Unfortunately, his presidency resembles the Carter Administration a whole lot more than anything that imagines Camelot.
As for me, I'm still Pro-Choice. Still anti-Death Penalty... but beyond that have NOTHING in common with my party. Not on domestic policy and CERTAINLY not on foreign policy (DON'T get me started on that!) I won't switch though... it would make my parents mad at me. (Why do I still care about that at 44 years old!?!?!?)
... and oh-boy, do I EVER get the Ginger thing now! Gosh, do I!
...and that's the view from here.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The Good Old Days
Hello Folks,
Do you remember lawn darts? How many of you tragically passed away playing them when you were a kid? Well if you're reading this, you thankfully didn't.
Remember when your favorite baseball player didn't cheat?
Won't it be GREAT to tell your children and grandchildren your memories about "capitalism"?
Remember when working out was called "exercising"?
Remember when cartoons were only on Saturday morning only?
Does ANYBODY just take a drive in the country anymore?
I could once name more than a dozen American professional tennis players. Are there even that many playing today?
I was once a "writer", now I'm a blogger".
Remember when an open field was the greatest thing a kid could ask for?
Were times less complicated when we were kids? Probably not. Were the pressures of life on our parents all that different then they are today? Not at all. It's just that our parents shielded us from all the stress in our lives. Do parents even do that anymore? More often than not I think parents today are NOT adults. They share their problems with their kids adding undue stress for their children.
The problems children should have are things like, "Why did I get picked last for the kickball game?"
NOT, "My parents can't afford the mortgage payment anymore."
One thing that is different is the news. The national news was basically only on once per day in the evening. Our parents had a choice of dinner time or bed time for the local news. It was easier for them to shield up from the injustices of the world. Now the scary people of the world are brought into our living rooms 24 hours per day, 7 day per week.
We were poor growing up, BUT I NEVER KNEW THAT! I had no idea if my folks lost a job, got demoted, or had some other crisis in their lives. All I knew was that if there was something wrong... it was all going to be ok.
Do you remember lawn darts? How many of you tragically passed away playing them when you were a kid? Well if you're reading this, you thankfully didn't.
Remember when your favorite baseball player didn't cheat?
Won't it be GREAT to tell your children and grandchildren your memories about "capitalism"?
Remember when working out was called "exercising"?
Remember when cartoons were only on Saturday morning only?
Does ANYBODY just take a drive in the country anymore?
I could once name more than a dozen American professional tennis players. Are there even that many playing today?
I was once a "writer", now I'm a blogger".
Remember when an open field was the greatest thing a kid could ask for?
Were times less complicated when we were kids? Probably not. Were the pressures of life on our parents all that different then they are today? Not at all. It's just that our parents shielded us from all the stress in our lives. Do parents even do that anymore? More often than not I think parents today are NOT adults. They share their problems with their kids adding undue stress for their children.
The problems children should have are things like, "Why did I get picked last for the kickball game?"
NOT, "My parents can't afford the mortgage payment anymore."
One thing that is different is the news. The national news was basically only on once per day in the evening. Our parents had a choice of dinner time or bed time for the local news. It was easier for them to shield up from the injustices of the world. Now the scary people of the world are brought into our living rooms 24 hours per day, 7 day per week.
We were poor growing up, BUT I NEVER KNEW THAT! I had no idea if my folks lost a job, got demoted, or had some other crisis in their lives. All I knew was that if there was something wrong... it was all going to be ok.
Was life really more simple when we were kids?
YES IT WAS.
But that was because of a generation of good parents. Tough people. Mature ADULTS. They took the sting out of life for us. Kept "adult" issues out of our lives. They showed us how to work hard. Save money. Make gifts rare and special.
They let us be kids.
School was about learning. NOT about how to act. You already learned that at home. School was about facts, history was about what really happened. Not some more politically acceptable version of the truth.
I feel so bad for our kids today who are "on stage" seven days a week. Every night they have some activity... some kind of lessons to take... somewhere to be. We make our kids "keep up with the Jones'".
Remember "family night"? Remember just staying in and playing a board game or watching a movie?
We can still give our kids the life of a child. We can still protect them from the perils of modern society. We can still teach them that what they do when no one is looking is just as important as when they are.
It's in our power, every adult, to make this generation of children the greatest generation. There's still time to make the time to spend with them and show them what life is really all about. Start today.
... and that's the view from here.
Larry Wilson
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
